i told people i was holding on because i always sensed a possibility.
but i'd been doubting myself; i said the words but..
i just couldn't believe it anymore.
the tears flowed silently.. but not uninterrupted, because
as they welled up in my eyes they were greeted by the
thick eyelashes, painted with non-waterproof mascara
so clear tears became black clumps of unhappiness.
silence that i kept to myself.
i love you: i swear i do.
only now: i can tell you!
finally, baby, finally. me in your arms,
tracing your perfectly sculptured build,
tracing your veins as they lead back to the
heart that is now mine.
i kissed you more than i needed to:
i love you, oh god, i love you.
thank you god for this christmas gift,
thank you god: for him, for us.
thank you for making me smile in this present moment.